Category: Emotional Needs & Resources

Grief is something that touches all our lives at some point – it is the price we pay for love.

Many of us have experienced a bereavement, to have lost someone who means a lot to us and know how hard it is to experience.

It’s unique for each of us – there’s not a right or wrong way to grieve – and it can affect us in different ways.

Here, Fiona Hanlon, Head Trainer at The Mental Health Toolkit explores grief and loss and how we can support our colleagues through the difficult process.

A unique experience

There’s not a one size fits all way to grieve and a loss of a loved one can fuel many different emotions.

How we mourn may not be the same as other people.

On top of that, the circumstances of a loved one’s passing and the relationship we had with them vary greatly.

A loss could have been after a long illness, giving us some time to process the situation, or a sudden or unexpected passing creating shock and disbelief.

How we mourn the loss someone important in our lives is a deeply personal experience.

No ‘right’ way to grieve

There is no rulebook to grief, and no ‘right’ way in mourning.

It is worth remembering the word ‘should’ can be unhelpful when it comes to our emotions, and this is particularly true in bereavement.

You hear some people say there are stages to grief, but every loss is unique and how we react and process our emotions is very personal.

The loss of someone important in our lives will affect us both in the initial period following the death but also in how we meet our needs going forward.

Taking care of ourselves and meeting our needs

We all have physical and emotional needs we must meet to maintain our mental health – and it’s important that following a bereavement we continue meeting them.

Many of these needs are met without needing much thought, they are part of our daily routine – needs such as Food & Drink, Movement, Emotional Connection and Community.

But in a period of grief these routines may be disrupted – so it’s important to continue to meet them in other ways.

Everyone is different but this may include getting out of the office for a walk, making sure to eat well, get good quality sleep and meeting up with friends and family.

Meeting these needs doesn’t take away our grief, but it can help us look after our wellbeing while processing our emotions.

Our innate resources

We all have innate resources to help us meet our physical and emotional needs.

One resource that is useful in grief is Memory, not only in its ability to connect with memories that give us hope, but also in how it helps us experience the passage of time.

 Memory allows us to remember good times we have had with lost loved one, reminiscing about moments of joy and laughter and things they have taught us.

Through this, we can keep loved ones in our hearts, so they are always part of us, remembering the good times we had with them.

Time is a healer

Grief can feel most painful in the immediate aftermath of finding out someone special has passed away.

It can be difficult in the moment to imagine feeling better following a bereavement, the pain is too raw, but as time goes on it does get easier as we process our emotions.

When someone returns to the workplace after experiencing the loss of a loved one, we might not know how to support our colleagues.

However, small gestures such as acknowledging their loss and being empathetic towards them, while also allowing them to have space when they need it, can make them feel more at ease with their return to work.

Help and support

There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve and to remember a loved one – everyone finds their own way.

However, while mourning a loss it is important to remember to look after each other and to offer support in meeting physical and emotional needs.

If you would like to learn how to support your team with their mental health, you can book onto our Supporting Mental Health training course.

Are you getting some time to yourself every day to process your thoughts and let your mind wander? Privacy is one of our Emotional Needs that needs to be met to secure our wellbeing.

Finding time for you can be difficult – especially if you work in a busy office or a buzzing site. Not having time to meet our need for privacy can get in the way of processing our thoughts, thinking things through and deciding what’s important to us. If you’re finding your job demanding, you may need time away to turn things over in your mind and reflect on the task in hand.

If we are distracted by other concerns and find it difficult to listen to other people, a lack of privacy can also affect our relationships. And, without privacy during the day, we might find that our mind is still whirring when we are trying to sleep – this might be the first time in the day when we have had privacy to try and process things.

So, what simple things can you do to meet your need for Privacy?

• Allocate time for yourself in your day where you can have privacy. This might not always easy if you have a busy life, but taking just 10 minutes a day to be alone with your thoughts will help. At work, this could be going for a walk during your lunch break.
• If you work from home alongside other family members, agree a time with those around you (whether that be your partner, family, friends or housemates) when you can have some time alone so that they respect this time and give you the space.
• Create a space that enables you to feel calm, such as your bedroom at home, an outside space or a dedicated calm area. If you’re lucky, your work might already have a breakout space that you could use during the day.
• Step away from your desk or other workspace and do something relaxing such as doodling, taking a walk or just having five minutes of peace where you are away from the distractions of life (try and put your phone away!).

Take 10 for privacy outside

Getting outdoors and having access to nature is also a great way to meet our need for Privacy, as well as some of our other emotional needs. While a lack of nature can be a barrier to wellbeing, our research (from our Emotional Needs Survey on the Suffolk Mind website) shows that having access to nature supports people to meet their emotional needs for Movement, Privacy and Security.

Having access to the outdoors and nature is important for our mental and physical health. So, could you take 10 minutes away from your desk to sit calmly amongst nature, mull over your day, perhaps with a cup of tea, and do something positive for your mental wellbeing?

The Mental Health Toolkit’s approach to training suggests that we all have 12 Emotional Needs that we need to meet in balance so that we can stay well. One of these needs is Community.

Essentially, meeting our need for Community means being a part of a group.

If we don’t feel like we are part of a group, we are at risk of social isolation which, in turn, could cause us to move into the stress end of the Mental Health Continuum.

For some people, the workplace is their community and they naturally meet this need at work. The workplace can also have community groups within the organisation, such as a green group (keeping the workplace eco-friendly) or an events committee. 

Some also find groups outside of work which enables them to have that essential work-life balance.

Getting your Community need met

If you’re looking to join a group at work, get in touch with your HR department. Your workplace may well have a variety of committees and groups available that you can be a part of.

Outside of work, you might want to think about an activity you have previously enjoyed and search for it within your local area. If there isn’t a group there already, make one!

Joining a group can be daunting, but reflecting on memories of how you enjoyed an activity can help you gain the confidence to do it.

Groups you can join with Suffolk Mind

If you’re keen to do good while meeting your need for Community, Suffolk Mind have a number of groups you can join:

GreenCare: If you’ve got a knack for gardening, Suffolk Mind’s GreenCare allotment projects might be the group for you. You can be a participant, or you could offer to volunteer your expertise.

Open Space: Open Space is a number of drop-in health and wellbeing groups across Suffolk, which are run by trained staff and supported with volunteers. There’s no need to sign-up, simply drop in to your nearest Open Space when you want to. Suffolk Mind is always looking for volunteers at the Open Space groups, so do get in touch with the team if you’d like to get involved.

Fundraising: If your workplace is looking for a charity to support, Suffolk Mind is always keen to hear from you. You can fundraise with friends or colleagues, or even speak to the Fundraising Team to see how best you can support them.

According to Suffolk Mind research, less than a fifth of full-time workers in are getting enough sleep.

Just 16.9% of 7,317 full-time workers surveyed said they are getting a healthy amount of sleep, which is one of every person’s 12 physical and emotional needs.

The figure was revealed as part of Suffolk Mind’s Emotional Needs Audit, an ongoing survey into the county’s mental health

Common barriers workers reported to sleep included their work situation (42.18% of respondents) and their workload (28.19%). The most prevalent was their overall physical and mental health at 54.1%.

Ezra Hewing, Head of Mental Health Education at Suffolk Mind, said the findings showcase the need for better mental health support in the workplace.

Ezra said: “All of us know the feeling of coming into work after a bad night’s sleep.

“Sleep is incredibly important to both our physical and mental health – so coming into the office when your mind and body haven’t had ample time to rest can be detrimental both to an employee’s wellbeing and a business’ overall output.

“There are so many factors behind the things that get in the way of a healthy sleep, but a great place to start – as highlighted in the barriers respondents have reported – is in the office.”

The Mental Health Toolkit offers a suite of training aimed at supporting workplace wellbeing

The Supporting Mental Health course helps build a healthy relationship between team members, directly influencing productivity, motivation and engagement while equipping people with the tools to better understand and manage their mental health.

Ezra added: “It is important change begins at the top to help build a more supportive management structure that’s in touch with the needs of its workforce.

“While workplace training isn’t going to help improve sleep overnight, it is a great first step in relieving the stresses staff may feel while helping them better understand their mental health.”

The relationship between a healthy work-life balance and the way we meet our emotional needs has been revealed thanks to research by The Mental Health Toolkit and Suffolk Mind.

The new findings, released as part of Workplace Wellbeing Week, come through our ongoing Emotional Needs Audit, run in partnership with Suffolk Mind.

So far receiving more than 25,000 responses, the audit asks people to rate how well they are meeting their needs from -3 to +3 – with a score of +1 considered “met”.

What does the research show?

Respondents to the Emotional Needs Audit are asked to report what their barriers are to meeting each of their 12 emotional needs.

For employed respondents, work-life balance or workload made up more than a quarter of the barriers reported to every need.

This included 52% who reported it as a barrier to meeting their need to give attention, while 56% said It was a barrier to feeling valued.

A further 40% of people said it got in the way of feeling secure in their lives, with another 39% saying it was a barrier to sleep.

Wendy Sheppard, Corporate Relationships Manager at Suffolk Mind and The Mental Health Toolkit, said: “All of us know how a stressful day at work can impact our home life – particularly when those difficult days begin to become a trend.

“This research has shown us just how much those days can impact our mental health, proving a barrier to every one of our emotional needs.

“As employers it is vital we recognise the warning signs of a poor work-life balance in our teams and offer support to those who need it.

“We cover these topics extensively in our online training sessions, designed to help you build long-term cultures of empowering support and wellbeing.”

Wendy added the report’s findings show the importance of our Emotional Needs Audit and the potential it has to change the ways we look at mental health.

She said: “These findings demonstrate the value of our Emotional Needs Audit and the important insights it gives us as an organisation.

“I would implore anyone yet to take part, or who hasn’t checked in recently, to spare five minutes at their desk and complete it. These stats make a huge difference in how we can better approach mental health.”

Find out more about our workshops and training.

Supporting Men’s Mental Health in the Workplace: A Call to Action for Businesses

Recent research from Suffolk Mind highlights a significant decline in how well men’s emotional and physical needs are being met. Unmet needs could lead to stress and impact men’s mental health. The findings, drawn from Suffolk Mind’s Emotional Needs Audit of over 25,000 responses, show that men’s emotional needs were 13% worse met in 2023/24 compared to 2022/23. This decline poses a substantial challenge for businesses aiming to foster a healthy, productive workforce.

Key findings:

Community: Needs were 21% worse met than the previous year.

Meaning and Purpose: Experienced a 20% decline.

Security: Fell by 18%.

Ezra Hewing, Head of Education at The Mental Health Toolkit (a workplace wellbeing training arm of Suffolk Mind), emphasised the importance of addressing unmet needs: “Men’s mental health is a big issue, and being aware that small changes can make a big difference is key.

“If someone is not meeting their physical and emotional needs for an extended period of time, this can lead to stress – which could progress to mental ill health.”

As businesse leaders, it is essential to prioritise men’s mental health. By ensuring they are aware of available support you are encouraging them to put their wellbeing first.

Workplace impact:

Work situation: 39% of men reported their work situation as a barrier to meeting their needs. This is up from 33% the previous year.

Relationships: 35% of men cited their relationships as a barrier, an increase from 29% in 2023.

Ezra further explained, “Some approaches to addressing mental health may not appeal to all men – they may prefer practical solutions rather than being told to open up about their feelings.

“Men express their emotions in different ways, and there is a risk that we end up alienating them, particularly if they value independence and self-reliance.

“There needs to be recognition that some men feel comfortable about sharing how they feel and asking for help, while there are those who don’t.

“The most important thing is to let men know there is support out there for them if they need it.”

Business action steps:

Implement practical solutions: Offer actionable, straightforward strategies that men can incorporate into their daily routines.

Foster a supportive environment: Create a workplace culture where all employees feel comfortable seeking help. Train line managers so they are equipped with the knowledge and tools to support their staff.

Diverse support options: Cater to the needs of your business and team. Provide various resources, from our suite of workshops and courses to 1-2-1 coaching sessions or Suffolk Mind’s counselling services.

By adopting these practices, businesses can enhance employee wellbeing. This in turn leads to improved job satisfaction, increased productivity, and a healthier workplace culture.

For more information on Suffolk Mind’s approach to men’s mental health, visit Suffolk Mind – Men and Emotions. www.suffolkmind.org.uk/advice-information/men-and-emotions

To explore the resources and courses available through The Mental Health Toolkit: https://www.thementalhealthtoolkit.co.uk/the-toolkit/explore/

Self-employed workers are more likely to meet their emotional and physical needs than those who work full or part-time hours, according to new research by The Mental Health Toolkit and Suffolk Mind.

Our ongoing Emotional Needs Audit, run in partnership with Suffolk Mind, asks respondents to rate how well they are meeting their needs from -3 to +3. It has so far received more than 25,000 responses.

Our CEO Jon Neal said: “We all have emotional and physical needs to meet to stay healthy and well, and our research reveals work can play a significant role in that.

“Our survey shows people who are working full or part-time are less likely to be meeting their physical and emotional needs, particularly Sleep and Movement.

“People who are self-employed report they are meeting more of their needs overall on average, however they are less likely to be meeting their needs for Security and Community.

“This may be as a result of being responsible for generating their own work and many working as sole traders.”

What does the research show?

The research revealed unemployed people were meeting fewer needs than those who are employed, giving an overall average response of 0.26. Their least well met needs being Sleep, Security and Community.

The research, exclusive to Suffolk, found full-time workers give an overall response of 0.73, with part-time workers scoring 0.79. Self-employed respondents rated the highest overall at 0.88. This makes them more likely to be at the ‘wellbeing’ end of the mental health continuum.

It comes as we have had a busy week taking The Mental Health Toolkit training to businesses across Suffolk for Mental Health Awareness Week.

Jon added: “It’s not just about employers caring for their employees’ wellbeing – it’s proven to be good for the bottom line of every organisation too.

“It might sound a challenge to maintain a good environment for mental health, but help is available to equip both you and your staff with the tools we all need to identify the signs of mental ill health and how to support them.

“The Mental Health Toolkit gives businesses training to help staff meet their physical and emotional needs, supporting them to find a healthy work/life balance.”

Find out more

The Mental Health Toolkit is a programme of training and workshops for employers that seek to foster a supportive culture empowering support and wellbeing.